Pitfalls Of Supervising Friends And Family And How To Overcome Them

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Supervising friends and family has the potential to be one of the most productive work relationships that exists in the workplace. Sadly, this is not always the case. Whether supervising a long time friend, managing a family member, or being promoted to supervising your peers, it is critical that all new managers learn to overcome these four pitfalls.

Poor Performance.

One of the most amazing dynamics when supervising friends is that they often will take you for granted, assuming that you will accept their poor performance because of your relationship. In fact, it often occurs that when the new manager is a friend, the employee begins to lessen their own standards of performance. Whether this is done intentionally or not, you must address it.. The greater problem is in the response you receive when poor performance is addressed. Often, new managers feel that their requests are ignored by friends they supervise. If this is a new supervisory relationship it is absolutely critical that you have a meeting in which you clearly lay out the expectations in this relationship. They need to know that for their sake (so others wont gossip about them) and for your sake (so your team will not lose respect for you and your authority) that you must treat them the same as every other member of your team, and that the performance standards as well as the disciplinary standards will remain consistent. If youve already begun to experience this, you must confront the problem directly. You can have an informal discussion about it at first, but if that does not change the situation, then you must address this in a serious manner. Follow your companys procedure for handling performance issues. Make sure that you clearly communicate that these are not just requests, they are directions given by their supervisor. Remember, everyone else is watching you.

Voicing Your Own Negative Feelings About the Organization or Your Supervisor.

Whether you are at work, a company function or hanging out at friends house, when you become a supervisor, there is a part of you that is always on. This means that there are now subjects you dont get into, and boundaries you dont cross. Even though you may have a legitimate issue with the organization, or your supervisor, never express them to the people you manage. First, it can negatively affect them as employees, especially if they have similar concerns, and cause severe future consequences. Second, it puts them in a very uncomfortable position, if they dont agree with all of your concerns. Third, it creates an environment that causes employees to vent and voice negative feelings even when youre not around, and sometimes about you. Fourth, it could very easily get to the wrong person and now affect your reputation. The key to this is you must find a new sounding board, someone who is at arms distance away from your job. Ideally this is someone who doesnt work with you and doesnt have any type of relationship with any one from your job, like a neighbor or a relative. In some instances it can be a co-worker in another department or a mentor, but use caution when thats the case. The two of you need to agree that he or she should function as a dead end (some you can tell delicate information to and it ends with them). Thus when you voice your feelings, there is no chance of it getting to the wrong person or negatively affecting someone involved in the organization.

Manipulation.

Of all the pitfalls that must be overcome, manipulation is often the most challenging. Manipulation occurs when the other person leverages their friendship against you to get what they want. First, do not let this affect you emotionally. Do not be fooled. This is rarely just a normal conversation that leaves you feeling guilty. This is almost always being done to you intentionally. More importantly, it is also a sign of disrespect. This person believes that you are weak and will succumb to emotional terrorism. Second, address this as early as possible. The more it occurs, the more it becomes a pattern. This also keeps you from building resentment. Third, dont beat around the bush. Subtlety is not effective in this situation. If you feel someone is leveraging your friendship against you, address it head on. One of the most common phrases new managers hear as they are being manipulated is, I thought we were friends! a great response to this is, In reality, if we were the friends I thought we were, you wouldnt put me in this situation in the first place. This helps to express that true friendship is not one sided and should not be used for the purpose of manipulation.

Favoritism or Perceptions of Favoritism.

You should expect to be accused of favoritism when you manage a friend. Avoiding the previous four pitfalls, will help to minimize any legitimate complaints a worker could have regarding favoritism. But in reality, even when you do your absolute best to make certain that all associates are treated based on their work, you must realize that not every accusation of favoritism is accurate. Many people dont take responsibility for their own performance. When was the last time you heard someone say, I didnt get that promotion because I wasnt qualified? Most would rather find someone else to blame or misapply a statement like Its not what you know but who you know. Dont let it get to you. This is just a combination of blame shifting and manipulation. Address the issue by letting the other members of the team know that there is no favoritism here and that every one is being held to the same standard.

Although these techniques may seem simple it doesnt mean they are easy, but when you overcome the emotional challenge of the friend-supervisor dynamic, success is assured.

Theme and Amusement Parks in Majorca – Family Holidays For Thrill-Seekers

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When youre on holiday, you want to find activities that the whole family can take part in and enjoy thoroughly, and theme and amusement parks of course offer fun and excitement for those of all ages. With something to suit a whole range of tastes in Majorca, family holidays which take in the islands theme parks, zoos and aquariums can be an absolute blast and will certainly keep the little ones entertained.

Looking for Something Wet And Wild?

If there is one thing that Majorca is not short of, it is water parks, and in the heat of summer what better way to cool off and enjoy the thrill of the rides? Western Park, located close to and directly west of Palma, offers one of the best experiences on the island for water-loving thrill seekers. The Kamikaze water slide, which plunges from a height of over 30 metres, is sure to take your breath away, but if you prefer to experience your thrills en famille, the 260 metre-long Mega slide lets the whole family jump in a raft together. These and a whole range of other water slides are not the only attraction of Western Park, however, as it is also based on a Wild West theme. With Wild West shows offering the chance to watch everything from shoot-outs to singing, and the spectacular Wheel of Death and Western Divers shows, a day simply isnt long enough to take in all the great attractions. Aqualand Magaluf is another of the islands water parks and this, along with the Hidropark in Alcudia, offers hours of fun and entertainment for children and adults alike during their stay in Majorca. Family holidays just wont be complete without taking in at least one of these wet and wild attractions.

From the Wild West to Wild Animals!

Whether monkeys or piranhas are your thing, youll be able to find these and many more exciting animals at the variety of wildlife parks, zoos and aquariums in Majorca. Family holidays with small children certainly wont leave you scratching your head for ideas and the Mallorca Aquarium, located in Porto Cristo and covering an area of over 2,000 square metres over two floors, on its own offers one hundred and fifteen displays of species from all over the world. Marine Land in Calvia meanwhile, will have youngsters captivated by the spectacular dolphin and sea lion shows and you can even watch the dolphins frolicking underwater from the underwater tunnel. If a safari is more up your street, then the Auto Safari Zoo on the outskirts of Sa Coma should be ideal. Whether you choose to go by car or to hop on the zoos mini train, you can experience the thrill of seeing everything from giraffes and elephants to zebras, lions, tigers and a whole host of other big cats oh, and windscreen wiper-eating monkeys too of course!

Bring Out the Competitive Spirit in a Round or Two of Mini Golf!

The fantastic thing about mini-golf is the fact that the whole family can join in and have fun. Located at Palma Nova and set in a tropical parkland with waterfalls, caves and lakes, Golf Fantasia offers no less than three 18-hole mini golf courses and the opportunity to spend a full and fun-packed day in Majorca. Family holidays in the area certainly shouldnt miss out on this wonderful attraction; but Dads, just make sure that you let the kids win every now and again!

Family And Doctors Reach Settlement For Death Of Forty Six Year Old Woman

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Though a colonoscopy is normally recommended as a screening tool for colorectal cancer for individuals who are fifty years old and older, doctors usually recognize that reports of rectal bleeding by a patient merit performing a colonoscopy even if the patient is younger than fifty. Regardless of whether a colonoscopy or a sigmoidoscopy is performed, though, if the examination is not complete and adequate visualization was not achieved, doctors normally recommendedthat the procedure should be done again. This article considers a wrongful death matter in which these two practices were dismissed by treating doctors.

In this example, a woman complained to her doctor that she was having constipation and observed rectal bleeding throughout a five week interval. This continued for another month. She was forty six years old at the time. Now the primary care physician scheduled her for a consultation with a gastroenterologist to do a sigmoidoscopy to check for the reason for the bleeding and constipation. But, the gastroenterologist only did a sigmoidoscopy rather than a colonoscopy. A sigmoidoscopy merely lets the physician examine up to 40 cm from the anus. While the sigmoidoscopy only permits examination of a limited section of the colon, the doctor documented that the sigmoidoscopy was not finished and that it had not been possible to examine the full length even of the sigmoid. Despite the poor visualization, the gastroenterologist failed to suggest that the procedure be repeated so as to properly examine the sigmoid.

The woman saw her physician for 2 yearly physicals after that and each time told him that she kept experiencing problems with constipation. At one point the physician spoke with the patient’s daughter and although he told her he would give some thought to a colonoscopy at some point in the future he proposed that the patient was suffering from irritable bowel syndrome and simply should eat more fiber. Later on he told the patient to begin taking lactulose. Ultimately, when a physical examination showed abdominal tenderness and a structure suspicious for stool in the colon, the physician ordered a check of her thyroid and at last referred her for a colonoscopy.

Roughly two weeks later, the woman ended up in the emergency room when she experience pain and vomiting while prepping for a colonoscopy. The emergency room physician found that she had a distended abdomen and could hear hyperactive bowel sounds. in addition, the woman had abdominal tenderness, mostly on the lower left. Given these symptoms the hospital physician had her get. The scan found a mass in the sigmoid with metastasis. Two weeks later the patient underwent surgery to take out the 4.2 cm mass. The surgeon found that her cancer had spread throughout a variety of organs. She began chemotherapy for stage 4 colorectal cancer. She died a little over four months following her surgery.

The womans family initiated a lawsuit against the family doctor and gastroenterologist. The law firm that represented the family was able to resolve the case with a settlement in the amount of $2.0 million. The law restricts the time you have to file a lawsuit so if a family member died of advanced cancer and you think they were the victim of medical malpractice you ought to contact a lawyer immediately to establish whether you may have a valid case.

Importance Of Family Rules In Developing Child Self Esteem

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As a mom, we have two very important objectives to achieve with our children. One objective would be to provide a loving and peaceful family environment. Another would be to raise our children to be happy and productive adults. If you think about it, most moms would agree they want these things for their children.

When you think of all the factors that can prevent us from achieving these two objectives, it can seem quite overwhelming. We live in a fast paced world and finding time for everything can be a challenge. The more family members we have, the more complicated family dynamics become. And I think the most difficult factor we face is the external pressures and the outside influences of the world. It is not easy raising children in this day and age.

The good news is you can raise great kids if you are equipped with the right tools and information. The root focus of raising happy and responsible children is developing their self esteem. And to develop their self esteem, children need three things: attention, autonomy, and limits. Children need to know they are worthy of love and they need to be taken care of. They need to gradually develop so they function independently from their parents. And children need boundaries so they learn proper behavior and develop healthy self esteem.

To give children attention, you play with them on a regular basis, give them lots of hugs and kisses, and take care of their most basic needs. Children gain autonomy and limits by having structure in their lives. One very important part of your child’s structure is the family rules. The family rules teach your children proper behavior, as well as the necessary skills and character traits they need to develop healthy self esteem and independence. Not only do rules give your children a sense of security, but they also provide order and peace for your family.

Kenneth Kaye, Ph.D., in his book Family Rules, provides a six step process for setting family rules:

1.Make a list of behavior problems or important concerns you are dealing with in your family.
2.For these problems or concerns, together as parents, create and write down the rules that will enforce the behavior that you want to see. Start with just a few rules in the beginning.
3.For each rule, think of and write down a logical or natural consequence for breaking the rule.
4.Formally present the rules to your children.
5.Follow through with consequences if they test the rules.
6.Amend the rules as necessary and amend or escalate the consequences as necessary.

One of the most interesting discoveries I made in Dr. Kaye’s book was the difference between rules and preferences. Let me give you a few examples of each and then I will explain the difference. Examples of rules may be “You may not hit, kick or call your sibling names” or “You must be home at the time we set for you”. Examples of preferences are “We prefer you use your manners” and “We prefer you spend your money wisely”.

Here are the major differences between rules and preferences. Mom and Dad have to agree on the rules, but they do not have to agree on preferences. Mom may allow only one friend over at a time, but Dad may enjoy a house full of children. However, when it comes to borrowing a sibling’s belongings, if the child is required to ask first, then Mom and Dad must be prepared to enforce this rule.

Rules require consistency and must be clear and specific. Preferences can be vague and do not require consistency. If a rule is broken, a consequence is issued every time. With preferences, you prefer your child do something a certain way, but it’s left up to your child’s discretion. There is no consequence if your child does not do things the way you would prefer. When my four year old has a playmate over, I prefer he says hello and goodbye to them. I encourage him to use his manners and I explain why I think it’s important, but there is no consequence if he doesn’t. On the other hand, if he hits or pushes his playmate, there would be an automatic time out. Generally speaking, rules provide structure, peace, safety and convenience, whereas, preferences teach children moral education, social skills and positive feelings about themselves and others.

Now that you understand how best to set family rules, I would suggest you post your family rules so everyone can see them. Remember, enforcing the rules requires issuing a consequence every time the rule is broken. The best consequences are ones that restrict privileges. The more natural and logical the consequence, the better it is. If a child behaves responsibly, he is rewarded with privileges, and he loses his privileges if he breaks the rules. One thing I have found that helps take the emotion out of issuing consequences is the Better Behavior Wheel. This is a great tool for teaching kids about the consequences for their actions.

Think about your children as they set off on their own. What kind of adults do you want them to be? How are you, as a parent, going to instill the healthy self esteem that’s needed for them to be successful at life? By utilizing the principles you’ve learned in this article, you’ve got a good jump start. Give your children everything you want them to be. Teach them by example and with family rules that will reinforce lifelong character traits, healthy boundaries, and the life skills needed to thrive in this world.

Animals And Infants What’s Right For Your Family

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Pets are usually great; they love you unconditionally and ask for so little in turn. But there’re also a lot of work. Therefore here are some items to consider before you bring the pet home to your household.

Often time’s young families get puppies as family pets. Pups are cute and playful, nevertheless they also demand a lot of work. Should your family has babies and younger kids then consider all the time it will take if you have a new puppy. Puppies will need several trips to a vet when you first get them for various things. Also a puppy needs a lot of training. It must be taught on what and what not to do including being housebroken.

Your new dog will also need to be fed and exercised on a regular schedule. Dogs tend to be creatures of habit and it’ll develop a routine pretty quickly. So be prepared to feed your dog about the same time every day. Dogs also need exercise everyday to be healthy and happy. They should be walked and some breeds might need to run a few times every day. Do you live in an place where dogs can be walked at least two times per day? Do you have time in your schedule with the newborn, work and family obligations? It isn’t fair to the dog if it cannot obtain the correct daily exercise.

There are a lot of several types of dogs available. You have big and small dogs. There are calm dogs and dogs with more intense personalities. If you have very young children then go with a more mellow breed of dog. Also what kind of space do you have, it wouldn’t be fair to keep a great dane in a tiny apartment.

Some people get cats for pets believing they are much less work than having a dog. There’s some truth to that particular assertion, however do not be deceived. Pet cats need a substantial amount of attention too. Felines also like routine and should be fed at regular times. And while do not need housebreak cats, you might need to litter train your new kitty. By nature the majority of felines naturally utilize the kitty litter box. However occasionally you’ll have to train a cat or kitten. You will also need to clean the cat litter box once or twice daily.

Many folks go with cats because they think that won’t have to exercise them like a dog. It is a fact that you won’t need to walk a cat like a dog, but cats do need exercise. You need to have time to play with them a few times a day. They need to run around and pursue kitty toys.

Just like dogs you will find different breeds of cats. You’ll want to go with a breed and temperament that works will with the family. Also keep in mind cats are much less tolerant than dogs and may not be a suitable pet for families with small children..

Having a family pet can be very rewarding. Finding the right pet for the family just takes a little research. Once you find the correct pet for your family, you’ll wonder what took you so long. Make sure that you look at your local animal shelters for pets, there are lots of great pets waiting there for a great home like yours..